


In Their Daughter's Eyes

by Cassidy_Doris



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Fatherhood, Kid Fic, M/M, Parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-16
Updated: 2013-05-16
Packaged: 2017-12-12 01:36:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/805625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassidy_Doris/pseuds/Cassidy_Doris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur and Merlin discover the struggles of raising a child and learning how to communicate and rely on one another. It isn't an easy task, but to Arthur it is worth it. He has everything he's ever wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Their Daughter's Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This work was edited by the wonderful and lovely Carrie and I want to thank her so so much! If there are any mistakes in here otherwise they are entirely my own!

“Jesus fucking Christ, Merlin!” A tall, blonde haired man was calling out into the hallway from a soft lit room that had yellow wallpaper. A lamp on a bedside table was tilted over and there were diapers scattered all over the floor. The changing table that was against the wall as you entered the bedroom had baby powder everywhere and there was a smudge of brown against the yellow. The man cringed and held back vomit. _Are you fucking kidding me?_ He thought and started picking up the diapers from the floor.

                “Oh, stop being such a ninny Arthur! It’s just poop! She poops ya know, she’s a _baby_!” The man, Merlin, was calling up to him from the living room downstairs; Arthur could hear the baby giggling in his arms.

                “That’s not what I’m talking about _Mer_ lin. I’m talking about how you are like a fucking tornado, everywhere we go, and you leave your mark behind that’s for sure. And she’s two, that’s hardly a baby anymore!” Arthur rubbed his eye with his thumb, standing up and bringing the diapers over to the changing table. He then went and picked the lamp up. He was saving the shit for last, the actual shit, which he had no idea how it’d gotten there in the first place. He rolled his eyes, _only Merlin_ ; Arthur could easily change their daughter without causing such a mess. Definitely without getting shit on the wall, he plucked a few baby wipes out of the package and began to scrub. How did he even get coaxed into doing this anyway? He could hear faint footsteps climbing the stairs just as he’d gotten the rest of the poop off. He disposed of the wipes in the bin, next to the changing table and turned just in time to see Merlin walk into the room with their smiling baby girl on his hip.

                Merlin was glaring at Arthur and his hand rested on his other hip. The scene almost made Arthur burst out laughing but he knew that would only make Merlin angrier.

                “Why are you even mad at me? I’m not the one that can’t change her and always gets shit on the walls.” Arthur was waving his arms around in the air in the direction of the wall and Merlin bit down on his lip and looked to the floor. Arthur crossed his arms, smiling in triumph. “You should be _thanking_ me for cleaning up after you!”

                “Oh you’re so right. Thank you, _sire_. How can I ever repay you?” Merlin was mocking and sarcastic. Arthur cocked his head to the side and let his mouth drop open in amusement.

                “Touchy, touchy. Nothing to be ashamed about my love, it’ll be our dirty little secret that you can’t change a baby and I’m actually the best parent. To think everyone thought it’d be you. And we’ll discuss payment later.” Arthur gave Merlin a small wink and walked over to him and gave him a kiss on the lips before taking their daughter from him.

                “Da! Da!” The child cooed. She had soft, blonde hair and blue eyes with gold specks and her nose resembled a button. Arthur didn’t know how it was possible she could look like both Merlin and Arthur, seeing as Merlin had been the one to father this child with a surrogate but yet, she did. Almost as if it were magic.

                “Is Hunith ready for bed?” Arthur said, speaking to her in a soft, murmuring voice and taking her up in his arms and playfully tossing her once up into the air to make her laugh. Merlin huffed beside him.

                “I wish you wouldn’t do that.” He whispered, Arthur ignored him.

                “All right, let’s let cranky daddy go to bed and I’ll stay here and read to you, all right?” Arthur said looking over to Merlin and shooing him out the door. Merlin rolled his eyes and walked over to kiss Hunith good night.

                “Good night, Hunny. Love you.” Merlin kissed her forehead and playfully pushed on Arthur’s arm, making Arthur stumble back a bit and let out a laugh and walk out.

                “Don’t worry sweetie, daddy is just cranky that you are so cooperative for me much more than you are for him when it comes to changing you. But just between us, it’s because I’m your favorite right?” Arthur brought Hunith over to the rocking chair and sat down placing her head on his chest and rocking back and forth.

                “I HEARD THAT. You do know the baby monitor is on!” Merlin yelled from their bedroom, Arthur chuckled quietly to himself; of course he knew the baby monitor was on. He was the one that turned it on.

                “Don’t listen to him Hunny!” Merlin walked back into the bedroom with his arms folded across his chest and leaning against the doorframe.

                “What are you doing?”

                “Well I guess I can’t leave you alone with her, not even for a second. You’re a bad influence.”

                “I’m a bad influence? You’re the one who named Gwaine her godfather! _Gwaine.”_ Arthur emphasized his name and gave Merlin a pointed stare. “It could’ve been Leon, or Lance, but no it was Gwaine.”

                “Oi, come off it, you know when he’s around her he’s a completely different person. She’s good for him, brings out the best in him. She does that for all of us.” Merlin smiled at Hunith and Arthur had to agree. She was something beyond special, but of course she was, she took after Merlin after all.

                “Da! Ook!” Hunith exclaimed and pointed at the table that held her favorite book, it was all about puppies.

                “Yes Hunith, yes, b-ook.” Arthur responded, trying to enunciate the b, so Hunith would try to repeat it, she always tried to repeat things. Like the other night when they were having dinner and Merlin dropped a plate and it broke against the floor, he yelled “shit” and she screamed, “It! It!” Arthur decided to not bring that back up, even though it was a point towards him in _not_ being a bad influence but he digressed.

                “B-ook?” Hunith looked up excitedly at Arthur. Her eyes flashed gold for a spilt second and Arthur was sure that she had meant to melt his heart because that is exactly what was happening. His eyes stung with tears and he nodded and smiled at her and then looked away, to find Merlin.

                He was still standing in the door way, but his arms were uncrossed and he looked less angry. Perhaps Hunith’s magic had reached him too and melted his frosty attitude to luke warm. His eyes found Arthur and Merlin sighed when he saw the tear trickle from Arthur’s face. Arthur knew he had won; Merlin couldn’t stay mad at him anymore. What Merlin was even mad about in the first place was something he was going to have to find out later.

                “She loves you so much.” Merlin whispered from the doorway, Arthur ushered him over and patted his other knee, the one Hunith wasn’t on, wanting Merlin to join them. Merlin rolled his eyes and looked to be saying _don’t be an idiot_ and shook his head. Arthur really didn’t know what had Merlin so wound up tonight. He only had to repeat back what Merlin had just said to him for Arthur to start clicking things into place, _she loves you so much_. Arthur sighed, _oh_.

                “She loves you too you know. So very much Merlin. You’re such a great dad to her.” Arthur’s voice was soft and he tried to sound reassuring, instead of his usual mocking tone.

                Merlin didn’t speak. The tears were rolling fast against his cheeks and Arthur didn’t know what to do. He looked down at Hunith and quietly finished reading the book to her. He picked her up and placed her in her crib, leaving a small kiss on her forehead. He walked over to turn off the light to Hunith’s room, grabbing Merlin’s hand and leading him back to theirs.

                “Merlin,” Arthur began but Merlin had let go of his hand the instant they were in the room and busied himself with taking off the thousands of pillows that lay on their bed. Arthur only ever used one. He didn’t understand why they needed so many but Merlin had tried to say something about décor and the environment and Arthur didn’t really give a rat’s arse about no fucking décor because as far as he was concerned he just needed a bed to fuck Merlin on and he was good, he didn’t need it to look fancy. But Merlin did, so Arthur let it slide. “ _Mer_ lin, will you stop and look at me? Please?”

                He walked over to Merlin placing his hands on Merlin’s shoulders only to feel them violently trembling. He whipped Merlin around to face him and the tears were much worse, snot was falling from Merlin’s nose and Merlin had drawn blood in the corner of his mouth from biting down on it, from stopping the sobs, Arthur had assumed.

                “Merlin, you’re being silly. You’re her _father_. So what if she flails around when you change her, so she got poop on the wall for the hundredth time? That doesn’t make you a bad father! That doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. She hates being changed; every child gets irritated about it.” Arthur voiced all the fears he knew Merlin was feeling.

                “But she never does it for _you_.” Merlin choked and Arthur wrapped his big arms around Merlin’s shoulders and brought him in for a tight hug. Arthur could instantly feel his chest getting soaked from Merlin’s tears. Merlin let out a big sob knowing it was muffled against Arthur’s chest and Hunith wouldn’t wake from the sound and Arthur squeezed tighter.

                “One time, when I was throwing her up into the air she laughed so hard she puked on me. I rushed us into the shower because you had just texted saying you coming home with dinner in ten and I didn’t want to have you say you told me so.” Arthur admitted this quietly and waited. He had held that story in for so long, he had actually never wanted to tell it, because he knew Merlin would laugh at him but this was a time for Arthur to put aside his pride for the sake of Merlin. Merlin was undone over this small thing and Arthur would be damned if he let Merlin believe that he was a bad father because of it.

                “You never told me that.” Arthur could feel Merlin chuckle against his body and it sent a thrill up his spine to feel Merlin smile and laugh.

“We make mistakes, we learn, we grow. Hunith loves us equally, Merlin. When you get home from work, she screeches at the window watching you walk up the path and waddles to the door right before you open it. Stop being an idiot _Mer_ lin.” 

“I just, sometimes, it just feels –“

“Like you’re fucking everything up?” Arthur finished the sentence for him and Merlin nodded wordlessly.  “I feel like this every day.”

Merlin stands back and raises a questioning eyebrow like he doesn’t believe a word Arthur is saying.

“What? You don’t think I do? Come on Merlin, I look at you, the way you teach her things, your _magic_ , she learns everything from you. What do I do? I can change her without her putting up a fuss and read her books. That’s about all I’m good for.” He might as well get it out, all the things he’s feared. Arthur beings to wonder why they have been keeping this all bottled up and to themselves for so long.

“You sing. She loves when you sing.” Merlin adds quietly.

“Singing, check. That’s about it.”

“That’s not it, not even close. Why haven’t you told me all of this?” The way Merlin is looking at Arthur breaks Arthur’s heart. A mix of hurt, betrayal and loneliness. _Fuck._

“Because I don’t want to burden you with all of this, with my stress and my fears. You have enough on your plate. I deal with it in my own way. I handle it. I want to protect you.”

“Bollocks.” Merlin huffs.

“Excuse me?” Arthur says taking a step back stunned.

“Fuck you Arthur, that’s what I’m here for. That’s what we’re supposed to do. We need to _rely_ on each other. For better, for worse and all that shit yeah? I _need_ you to tell me these things. Why do you think I don’t tell you these things? I don’t want to burden you either, but it turns out we’re being complete idiots. We need to be one on this, okay? No more secrets. If we’re scared, we tell each other. If we feel like failures we tell each other, got it?” Merlin was giving Arthur a long hard look, daring him to protest and Arthur backed down immediately knowing he never could.

“And if we’re happy?” Arthur said, taking a step back toward Merlin. Merlin smiled softly and it gave Arthur butterflies in the pit of his stomach, which gave way to a deep longing and want.

“We tell each other.” Merlin said, taking a step forward too.

“Well _Mer_ lin, I’m pretty damn happy right now. Despite all of this, it’s hard being a dad sure, but I’ve got you and I look at you every day and I’m happy. I’m content. I look at our daughter every day and I’m happy. I’m happy she looks like you; she has your talents and your strength and intelligence.  I know we can do this, stay with me.”  Arthur’s eyes blur for a quick moment and he blinks rapidly.

“Arthur –“ Merlin murmurs and brings his hand to cup Arthurs cheek, he closes the space between them and presses his lips gently to Arthurs. Arthur feels a shiver of bliss run down his spine before he begins to kiss back, one hand resting on the small of Merlin’s back and the other snaking its way into Merlin’s unkempt hair. Arthur used his strength to pull Merlin closer to him and hold him tightly against his chest as his tongue accesses Merlin’s mouth and stakes its claim there. _Mine_. Arthur thought with pure joy.  Small moans escape Merlin’s mouth and Arthur can taste him and never wants to stop. Merlin is stepping back towards the bed and Arthur is following. He bites down softly on Merlin’s lip bringing out one last moan from Merlin before they fall helplessly onto the bed.

“Stay with me.” Arthur breathed out heavily in between heated, passionate kisses.

“Always.” Merlin murmured back.

***

Arthur woke up tangled into Merlin and Merlin poking him in the chest with his finger.

“-hur” Merlin mumbled, his face mushed into Arthur’s ribcage.

“M-lin” Arthur groaned back, not being able to roll the R off his tongue.

“Hunith.” Merlin whispered more loudly this time. Arthur woke with a start; he knew he was hearing something in his sleep. The baby monitor was going off and he could hear her wails all the way down the hallway.

“I’ll get her.” Merlin said taking his arm off of Arthur’s stomach leaving a cold trace in its wake that made Arthur shiver. He pulled Merlin back.

“No, you have to work in –“ Arthur looked at the clock 3:55am it read, “In three hours, go back to sleep.”

Arthur got up and trotted down the hallway and slowly opened the door. Hunith was standing in her crib, her face red with rage and tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Hunny, baby, what’s the matter?” Arthur’s voice dropped to a soft lull and Hunith hiccupped and looked at Arthur and calmed down for a split second before she let out a blood curdling scream that had Arthur jolting back to the doorway. He shook his head and stared at her. “Well then, you just get it all out sweetheart, did you have a bad dream? Are you telling those monsters to be afraid of you? Cause they should be, be very afraid.”

Arthur could see Hunith’s eyes glow gold and her nightlight lamp flicker and grow brighter.

“Hunith.” Arthur said warningly, scooped her up from her crib and made for the rocking chair. “Just calm down my love, don’t want to be breaking any glass, you could get hurt.”

The wails were persistent. Arthur was getting fidgety. Maybe she was in pain or she was sick and he couldn’t tell. He felt her forehead, but she felt fine. But even his soft rocking back and forth movement wasn’t working. She could be hungry but she normally woke around five for breakfast, that’s routine. He was faintly aware of Merlin entering the room and Arthur tensed up, angry suddenly that he couldn’t get Hunith to calm down and waking Merlin when he had to be at work soon.

Merlin crawled into his lap and let a finger out for Hunith’s small hand to wrap around. Hunith looked up at Merlin and calmed for a moment. Her eyes flashed gold in Merlin’s direction and Merlin shook his head no and they faded. A simple shake of Merlin’s head and Hunith could stop, what was Merlin even talking about that he was a bad father?

“I think we’d like daddy to sing to us.” Merlin said, resting his head on Arthur’s shoulder, never letting go of Hunith’s hand. Hunith copied Merlin’s movement and let her head rest on Arthur’s chest and looked up at them both with gold stars shining in her eyes. She let out a small giggle in agreement. Arthur chuckled deeply and nodded.

“Very well then.” Arthur leaned over to kiss Merlin’s forehead and picked a song he knew was both Merlin and Hunith’s favorite.

 

 _Hey Jude, don't make it bad._  
 _Take a sad song and make it better._  
 _Remember to let her into your heart,_  
 _Then you can start to make it better._

They were fast asleep within seconds. Arthur stayed like that until he saw the sunrise peek into Hunith’s window, just holding his family.


End file.
